Shen Dan Jie Kuai Le

beautiful_assI have a 5:30 PM flight Thursday from Beijing to Chicago.

Home for the holidays.

Since I have not been in the US for 12 months, I wanted to share with you the most important reason why:

I am so excited to get home

I will be sad to return to China in January.

I love my wife and am looking forward to spending some quality time with her in Chicago.

Shen dan jie kuai le translates to Merry Christmas.

Hope your Christmas present is as beautiful as mine.

Shipment to USA

The countdown to home continues.

The movers came again. The result this time was only 19 assorted size boxes. Within 90 seconds of arrival, the drum had been wacked.

It is about 45 days door to door by boat from Beijing, P.R. China to Chicago, Illinois USA.

One of the forms said no pornography, so the 2004-2005 Playboy collection will not be making the trip. The Sex Chair was packed securely and I am optimistic it will not be categorized as pornography and impounded.

Linda – please trust the Christmas decorations and everything else I had been instructed to ship are on the way.

Here are before and after pictures of the drum.

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Candy’s EngRish Manu

lee_candyI stole both the idea for the title of this post and these pictures from our friend Candy. Candy is from Hong Kong and currently lives in Washington D.C. Candy married a high school friend of mine, Lee. Not sure how he got such a pretty wife, but good for him.

Most American’s living in China keep a collection of translation photos. Chinese is a colorful language and one of the first things my tutors explained is that you just can’t translate words directly from English to Chinese and expect it to make sense. Our photo collections also demonstrate that the inverse is also true – you can’t translate words directly from Chinese to English and expect sentences to make sense.

In Chinese, there are many more examples of phrases (especially food) that are non-descriptive but that everyone in China understands. An English example is tiramisu. Unlike a ’64-ounce Steak for Two’, the word tiramisu doesn’t suggest anything about a:

light dessert of sponge cake or ladyfingers dipped in a coffee-liqueur mixture, then layered with mascarpone and grated chocolate.

These photos and the collection posted here are purportedly from a restaurant menu in Shenzhen, which is near Hong Kong in southern China. Having seen many manus posted on restaurant storefronts, those of us in China believe these photographs to be authentic.small

My favorites:

Fuck to Fry the Cow River

The Chicken Hates the Soup

Butter Many Privates

Elder Brother the Ground is Second

I have been saving our photos in hopes of someday taking the time to create a ‘Lost in Translation’ collection. However, these were just too good to pass up posting immediately.

Frog gruel for two, anyone?

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